Dear Valentine’s Day

Alyssa Osegard on February 13, 2018

Dear Valentine’s Day,

Our relationship was rocky from the start, Valentine’s Day.  While I found joy in your candy and school parties, I also felt a bit sad when you rolled around.  I have a summer birthday, meaning that I could bring treats to school to celebrate on my half birthday.  Well my half-birthday is you, February 14th, and I never actually got to celebrate my birthday at school. What a bummer for an elementary student!

As I grew older, Valentine’s day got weirder.  In middle school, it was the day that the few “couples” the school had would make out by the lockers.  I still thought boys had cooties, so it was pretty disturbing and gross.  Add the fact that we didn’t have Valentine’s Parties at school anymore, and it all equals a pretty lame day.
In high school, I finally had my first boyfriend, and I figured that I would figure out what the big hype about Valentine’s day was.   We were together for all of high school and some of college, and I still never figured it out.  Sure, we exchanged nice gifts and went on dates, but it still felt weird.  Why was there a certain day set aside for everyone to be in love?  Couldn’t that be every day?
I started dating another guy in college. We didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  Neither of us felt that heart-shaped chocolates, expensive meals, and fancy gifts on a certain day was the way to show love to each other.  We just went on dates when we wanted to, not when Hallmark and ‘tradition’ said we had to.  Neither of us were needy or would get upset.  In fact, we would rather go out when there aren’t a bunch of couples pretending everything is great and trying to out-spend each other for the sake of appearances. It was refreshing to not feel obligated to celebrate.
Well that man turned out to be my husband.  He had the same distaste for Valentine’s Day as I did.  We have yet to exchange gifts or go on a real Valentine’s date.  For many years now, we have ‘celebrated’ the day by cooking a yummy meal for another couple who might be too busy to go out and enjoy the day. It’s more fun for us to do something for others on Valentine’s Day, and it is a tradition we hope to continue in the future.

Our 1st Valentine’s meal-making, Valentine’s get together!

We aren’t falling for your tricks, February 14th.  We don’t need your overpriced “Valentine’s Day Deals” to express our love.  That happens every single day in the small gestures that mean a lot more than a required expression of our love.  We know we love each other with or without you.  We’ve decided to stick with doing fun things for others on February 14th.
Although we have stopped buying into your hokey, pink-and-red, flowery scam, some people truly love every part of you, and that’s okay too! And if Valentine’s Day can be a day where we get to serve others, well then I guess you aren’t so bad after all.
Best wishes to you, Valentine’s Day,
Alyssa

New Years Resolution to Lifestyle Change

Alyssa Osegard on February 7, 2018

I am the kind of person who loves to write new years resolutions. I like to think I stick with them longer than most, but still never for the full year.  A few goals and resolutions seem to be a theme nearly ever year for me:

1) Spending time with God
2) Eating better
3) Exercising

Basically – every year I try to be healthier in mind, body, and spirit.  I create elaborate schedules and routines that I stick with for months at a time. But then I miss a day or two, and I feel defeated, so I quit.  Is anyone else out there like that?  Tell me I’m not alone in failed resolutions!

What’s Different Now?

This year is different though, and I’ve been trying to understand why. I believe it is because I have seen how life is different than it was before now that I’ve stuck to my resolutions and goals.

Until now, life had been passing by, and I’d just been accepting that mediocre is good enough for me. Stress and anxiety had been ruling my life for too long, and now is the time for my resolutions to win out. 2018 will be the year that I trust God to lessen these invisible weights I feel on myself that I have for too long assumed were just part of being an adult.

I kicked off the year joining a bootcamp for a new workout program (keep reading, I promise this

Prepping healthy meals ahead of time keeps us on track with our nutrition AND gives us time throughout the week to focus on our other goals!

isn’t an ad! ha!).  This program requires 6 workouts a week, 8 hours of sleep a night, self-care, and healthy meals every 2-3 hours.  I was excited for the program, but also pretty darn sure that I was setting myself up yet again with an elaborate routine that wasn’t sustainable.

The opposite has proved to be true. Everything that usually drops from my goals and resolution lists has actually gotten better!  The first thing to disappear is normally my workouts, but I am in a community of women and men that encourage me daily to get it done.  The next to get lost is my time with God, but since I have to get up to eat before my workout, I have no excuse but to do my devotions!

The Benefits

These things have residual good effects too. My workouts are intense, and so I have been eating healthier because my body craves to be properly fueled.  My time with God is forcing me to really

I feel better mentally, spiritually, physically. Losing a little weight is just a side bonus to me!

examine parts of my life I’ve ignored, and I’m starting to see God’s direction in my life.  The community of men and women started off as just names on a screen to me, but I am slowly starting to develop friendships with them.  The organization of the program forces me to take time to relax (literally, I couldn’t function without extra soaking, stretching, and foam rolling) which calms my anxiety.

I never want to go back to living life at just “acceptable”.  I’m learning what God wants for me in life and how a healthy body, mind, and spirit are so intertwined.  I know that 2018 will be the year my goals not only stick, but become a true lifestyle change!

Lessons learned from a four-year-old’s tantrum

Alyssa Osegard on January 20, 2018

This morning one my favorite little four-year olds was laying on the couch making up a song about God. Some of the best lyrics being “God is the one we trust. I love Him! He loves my momma! God is in our hearts!  He died for our sins and God made us and he made our friends”   She literally sang for five or ten minutes and was just SO JOYFUL as she sang about God’s goodness!

Not twenty minutes and the iPad she wanted to use died.  INSTANT tantrum.  I’m talking 30 minutes of top of the lungs screaming and telling me that I needed to fix it RIGHT NOW.  Poor girl knows by now that Alyssa doesn’t put up with whining.  You whine – you don’t get what you want – PERIOD. (#preschoolteacherdoesnthavetimeforyourcrap)

My heart rate was rising and my anxiety climbed. I knew it would be way better for her to learn to calm down and learn to be patient, and to get some screen-free time. But man oh man did I want to give her that iPad.  It felt SO ridiculous.  I kept thinking “She was so full of joy just a few minutes ago, what happened? Why is she letting this ruin her whole day?”

And then it hit me

And then it hit me, how often do WE act like that?  We diligently do our quiet time in the morning and meditate on God’s goodness in our lives. We feel full of His love and goodness.

Then we drive to work and traffic is terrible – GOD, fix it RIGHT NOW.

We get to work and the WiFi is down when there is a big presentation starting at 9 – GOD, fix it RIGHT NOW.

We forget our lunch at home and don’t have time to buy anything. GOD, fix it RIGHT NOW.

We grumble about the little inconveniences to our coworkers, then turn around and tell our spouse what a horrible day we had.  We let the tiny little things of life dictate other moments in our day. Maybe we don’t let it ruin our WHOLE day, but we definitely don’t just let it go either!

It’s just a silly as a preschooler’s tantrum

God’s goodness and love are so much greater than the things we let ruin our day, even as adults.  God’s always got our backs.  Maybe traffic was bad because God knew you needed to grow your patience (in preparation for the giant tantrum awaiting you from a four-year old, for example . . . ). The WiFi being down would have been a great time for you to pray for the presentation, but you used it only to complain.  You forgot your lunch, but God placed a coworker in your life who helped you out, and now a new friendship is forming! Or maybe none of that happened for a reason. Guess what? God is still good. (Read those four words again, and out loud). GOD. IS. STILL. GOOD.

So next time you feel a grown-up tantrum coming on, take a deep breath and remember that the God who made the universe holds you in the palm of his hand, and that is worth so much more than a tiny inconveniences.

Finding ME again

Alyssa Osegard on November 8, 2017

Fatigued. Anxious. Depressed. In 2016, these were the words I described myself with more often than not. Medications and other substances were not my friend. Not in an abuse sort of way, but in a “they make me feel off” way. I wanted to try anything natural to get out of my rut. Anything to finally feel like ME.  But finding me again seemed impossible.

Try 1: A personal trainer

Everyone said the best natural remedies were sleep, water, a healthy diet and exercise.  So, I tried working out with a personal trainer for almost a year. I wasn’t seeing the results that I wanted, hated the drive to the gym, and didn’t have the accountability I needed nutrition-wise, so not much changed.

Then one day, a parent of one of my students mentioned her community of women overcoming anxiety and emotional eating and working together to build each other up. It was a group of women who were working out at home and eating better as well. It sounded too good to be true, especially when I realized I could do all of that for an entire year for the cost of two weeks with my personal trainer.

Try 2: At home workouts

It was tempting, but I had my doubts. I’d done Pinterest “at home workouts” before and either lost my motivation after a few days or seen zero results. I didn’t have much hope that these workouts would be any different, but I felt it was really my last chance to find me.

So I made the leap.  I decided I’d give it one month.  One month to follow the meals plans, the workouts, and be a part of the community.  I even decided to try the shakes they were obsessed with.  I was so sure it WOULDN’T change anything, but I had to give it my all for a little while.

May 30, 2017: I was in better shape than I had been before hiring a personal trainer, but felt at my lowest.

The Results

One month later, I had lost inches, cravings, and some of my depression symptoms. I gained community, energy, and the feeling of accomplishment that had been mostly missing in my life. My “I guess I’ll try this for a month” is turning into a sustainable lifestyle one day at a time!

I never thought that I would work out consistently or make healthy food choices. I didn’t have good role models in that area. It had been pretty ingrained in me that I was lazy, un-athletic, and had a sweet tooth that was stronger than my willpower. When my depression was factored in to all that, finding me again seemed impossible.

One month later and I felt more like myself than I had in years!

Finding Me Again

I’m not perfect now, but I am happier. I have more energy. Food choices are easier than they were. I have a community that keeps me accountable.  The workouts make me feel stronger and fill me with confidence that tells me I can conquer anything. I’m finding me again, and I love who I am becoming along the way.

What helps you feel like yourself?  I’d love to learn from you or to encourage you! Contact Cody and me here or on Facebook!

A License to Try

Alyssa Osegard on October 2, 2017

“Nothing will ruin your 20’s more than thinking you should have your life together already.”

I have very mixed feelings about this quote that I see all the time. On one hand, it is reassuring. I am 25 years old and don’t have life figured out. Currently, I work four jobs, with no particularly strong pull towards or away from any of them. I still think that filing taxes is the most confusing thing ever (although four jobsmay have something to do with that). So many of my fellow twenty somethings are married and having babies. But me? I’m still content borrowing other people’s kids. There are so many different paths and choices that it can all seem overwhelming sometimes!

Look at these 21 year old babies . . .best choice we ever made, but why stop with one good choice in our twenties?

Too many choices make it easy to give up

Sometimes, I feel like I’m not at all where people told me I “should be” at 25. The world is telling me to have it all and do it all right now. The pressure to keep the house clean, volunteer, have my dream job, be an awesome wife, take trips, and have babies all while knowing how to cook perfect meals, read every book, and stay caught up with “This is Us” is so intense. Can’t I just go to work, come home, and watch Netflix?Life will still work out fine, right?

 

Some would agree, saying there is no point in trying to have it all together in your twenties. After all, at this stage we’re all just figuring things out, and we’ve barely outgrown our high school and college days. In fact, some of us still live with our parents. We’re barely looked at as adults by the people around us (we’re just those “millennials” that cause so many problems), so is it even worth the effort? We may as well take life one day at a time, right?

But what is the alternative?

People rarely work to fail; we want to be our best! We hear a lot about how setting goals and making wise choices every day helps you be the best version of yourself. The preschool students I work with talk about what they want to be when they grow up with such excitement, yet it seems that many of us lose that drive when we finally reach adulthood.

I can’t help but wonder, what stops us from at least trying to have our lives together in our first years in the “real world?” Is it a fear of failure? The fear of the unknown? Or is it the desire to be carefree children again? It is probably a mixture of all these reasons. Regardless, I don’t think we as twenty-somethings can justify not trying our best with every single day we’re given.

The turning point for me

Eagle Brook Church had a sermon on this subject a few years ago. One quote in particular really jumped out at me:

“The decisions you make from ages 14-25 will absolutely affect what kind of life you will have from ages to 25-95.  So decide right now, in broad daylight, to avoid the things that would damage your character and handicap your future.”

We often think that these early years as adults can be throw away years. That’s silly! If you want to be a doctor, you don’t start studying anatomy the day before you begin a new practice. Successful athletes train for months before big events, not just a day or two before. We know how silly those things sound. Still, we think that someday we will suddenly make the most out of our lives with no preparation.

So what other choices do we have?

We don’t have to have it all figured out right now, it’s true. However, we should be conscious of the choices we are making. Today’s choices affect our future. Shaping our futures in the way God wants us to live is a constant decision-making process. Will we make mistakes? There’s no doubt about that. Instead of living carelessly, I believe we ought to choose every day to make wise decisions. I want to make purposeful decisions that will create a better life for me in the future.

With this, I am pledging to do my best to be a real, functioning adult. I am setting goals, stepping outside my comfort zone, and living out God’s plan for me. It’s guaranteed that I will face setbacks and failures, but there are also lessons to be learned and successes to celebrate. The version of me I hope to be down the road won’t just happen! Dedication and discipline will be key.

Are you willing to take a step today towards being your best self, even in the mess of life? If so, I hope you’ll subscribe to this blog and follow Cody and me here.