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When we moved to Minnesota, we knew we wanted to find a church to call home.

I had one stipulation: “I won’t go to a big church”.

We tried out a few churches that seemed like good fits on paper, but didn’t feel comfortable calling any of them “our church”. The church shopping, for lack of a better term, was getting tiring. Someone told us to try Eagle Brook Church. I laughed because I was SO NOT GOING TO A BIG CHURCH. Cody grew up in a large church though, so I though I’d better go so we could rule it out together.

Our first week at Eagle Brook Church was the last week they were housed in the local high school before they moved to their permanent site. We enjoyed the teaching, but we didn’t feel like we got an accurate feel for the church. September 28, 2014, we attended our first service at the campus.

Ruling out a big church

I went in with an attitude. The building looked so fancy (I later learned that city codes actually played a big role in that). The kids spaces had a rock wall and video games (and can kids really learn about Jesus if they aren’t coloring pictures of bible characters when they get dropped off?). I noticed that there weren’t any adult classes happening on Sunday mornings and frankly, a lot of the message felt a little more surface level than I wanted it to.

Even though my list of complaints was a million miles long, but still, we kept coming back. There was just something about the kindness of the staff and volunteers that made us feel welcome.

Still, I stood firm. I would NOT go to a big church because it’s “impossible” to get to know anyone. PLUS not all the messages go as deep as I want them too, so what’s the point of church if not to meet my needs? (Oy that hurts to write now, but I REALLY believed it).

The ultimatum

I told Cody we had to meet people or I was OUT. We started volunteering, and the people were amazing. Cody and I attended short term small groups and met even more people. We joined small groups and got more involved, and with every interaction, this big church felt a little bit smaller.

Before we knew it, we had been attending for four years. WE were now members of the church, volunteering many times a week, and we ALWAYS see familiar faces. However, I didn’t realize how many of my “megachurch” stereotypes I was still holding on to.

‘Big churches don’t go deep enough’

This was a tough pill to swallow. I grew up in a church that read lots of passages and talked about the Hebrew and Greek roots to things and went DEEP. I didn’t always feel like I got a lot of practical application for my life, but I figured soaking up all this knowledge would help make me a better Christ-follower somehow. Along the way, I took on the belief that a good church always went very deep.

I’ve come to learn that the church isn’t for me. The church isn’t for people who love the deep learning stuff and have been reading the Bible their entire lives. The church exists to reach the people who don’t yet know about Christ. People who don’t know Christ need to learn about His deep love for them and practical ways they can share His love with others in their lives.

Now, going deep IS important (and when you’re not being super cynical like me, you can see the deep points in every message too). However, going deep isn’t always for the masses and the nonbelievers and the new believers. That’s why small groups exist. Our church provides resources for going deeper and building connections with other people. Going deep is also what my personal time with God is for. Sundays are for reaching others and gaining practical application.

‘They don’t have enough programs’

What kind of church doesn’t have AWANA and Mom’s bible study, and multiple commissioned missionaries? How about Thursday Men’s Group and Adult Sunday school? And Operation Christmas Child? The list goes on and on and on.

Eagle Brook does have partners, missions trips, and opportunities to dive in to small groups on your own, but those things are THE thing. EBC’s mission is “empowered by God to reach other’s for Christ”. When there are too many programs inside the church, the mission gets jumbled up. It becomes self-focused instead of others focused. Eagle Brook is SO intentional about devoting time only to things that are the best use of the resources God has given us that also reach the mission.

‘Kids are just having fun, not learning about faith’

This one I got over pretty quickly when I started serving, but I still hear it a lot from people in the community.

Think about your experience in Sunday school. I had amazing teachers and learned a LOT, but I hated the first 20 minutes. You know, the time where you wait for everyone to get dropped off and make some craft that ties in to the lesson, and depending on the teacher, sometimes can talk with your friends and sometimes have to sit in silence?

At Eagle Brook, this drop off time (and the pick up time) is filled with games and activities that allow kids to enjoy time fellowship with other people who love Jesus. They interact with adults who love them, and meet kids from their own school and community that believe the same things as them. PLUS a fun environment like that makes kids want to come back, and when they come back, they learn more about Jesus.

Every lesson is packed with Biblical truth and practical application designed just for the kid’s age level (from toddler through 5th grade). We have SO many kids making first time decisions to follow Christ, which shows me that fun and faith don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

The Truth about big churches

What it comes down to is this – what started as just a small church outside the Twin Cities is growing with such incredible momentum that it can only be because of the Holy Spirit at work. In the last two years, 10,000 people have come to faith in Jesus for the first time. TEN. THOUSAND. That kind of life change doesn’t happen when a church is focused on superficial things like being the “cool” church or the “feel good” church. That change can ONLY come from God blessing our mission to reach others for Christ.

And what a fool I would be to miss out on God at work.

We want to buy a house in cash. That’s right – no mortgage, no loans, no interest. Just cold, hard cash.

GULP. It feels scary to say that out loud. We aren’t 100% dedicated to this idea yet, but it is SUPER appealing to us. Here’s why:

No mortgage means no debt

If you’ve followed our story at all, you know that we had student loan debt that was the size of a small house. We paid thousands in interest, and it was SO frustrating. We want our money to be used for leaving a legacy for our family, our community, and our world. Having no mortgage means we can stop paying interest and start doing better things with our money.

Interest makes us sick

I mean, we love interest that works in our favor, but interest we pay to someone else? This article sums it up pretty well. The average house cost in the US is between $200,000 – $250,000 depending on your source.

On a 15-year $250,000 loan, at current average interest rates, you pay $86,933.32 in interest over the life of the loan. For a 30 year mortgage, that amount skyrockets to $220,023! You practically pay for your house TWICE with the kind of interest.

YIKES.

We want to OWN our home

It’s funny how anyone who pays for a house at all is suddenly a home owner. Sure, you have the responsibilities of home ownership (taking care of repairs, keeping the house and lawn in good working order, snow removal, etc), but do you actually own your home?

Nope. If you are paying a mortgage, then the bank owns your home, not you. If we’re going to be called home owners, we want to own it ourselves.

Why we are still saving

We know that this isn’t a popular way to go about things. We know that many people think we are “wasting money” on rent. It’s going to take a long time to save up enough to buy a house with cash, but here are the things that are keeping us going right now.

Where to buy

We haven’t decided what a good place would be for us to live long-term yet. There’s no point in buying a house in a place we don’t necessarily want to be at long term. If the real estate market changes an we decide to leave, then we could have big problems. In fact, the townhouse we currently rent fits this scenario. The owners bought it, had a job change, but the market shifted and they were upside-down on their mortgage and couldn’t sell it. Not a situation we want to put ourselves in!

Our current rental fits our needs

The place we rent now is the most ideal location for us at this stage in our life. It’s exactly what we wanted in a home. Plus, we got it for a steal of a price. We aren’t in a hurry to get out of here!

Patience pays off

We don’t want to be so anxious to chase after the “Joneses” that we get in over our head. Sure, we could probably afford a pretty nice house right now based on the bank’s standards. However, we feel that if we were to get a really nice house and be stuck paying our mortgage for 15-30 years to keep that lifestyle up, we aren’t being true to US. We would rather wait and be purposeful and intentional with how we spend and what we buy.

No mortgage? Now hear us out.

We don’t think it’s bad if you have a mortgage, nor do we think that we are better than anyone else if we pay cash for a house. It’s just something we feel convicted about and want to pursue for us!

We still aren’t 100% sold on this, but it’s our lofty goal! We do know this though: if we end up with a mortgage we will pay at LEAST 20% down in cash, use a 15-year fixed mortgage, and our monthly payments for our house will be UNDER 25% of our take home pay. And that mortgage would NOT be around for 15 years either – we would ditch that with the same intensity we did our other debt!

Have you ever paid cash for a house? Would you ever consider it?

When we started honoring the Sabbath (or celebrating Shabbat), we knew that it would be easy to slip into old habits. Finding time and space for true rest is so difficult!

In our culture of hustle and BUSY, it’s easy for weekends to become about cleaning, projects, and getting stuff done so that your next week can be just as productive. However, we knew that Sabbath was to be about two things, and two things only – rest and worship.

This is part 2 in our series on rest and Sabbath. You can read part 1 here.

True rest? Worship? Neither?

We decided at our first family meeting that anything we would do during our shabbat had to pass one litmus test: “Is this rest or worship?” If the answer was neither, it was a no-go. From there, and from a few weeks of experience, we realized that there were some things that were definite, constant “no’s” on the litmus test of sabbath, somethings that were always a “yes”, and some that vary depending on the context and the week.

Since these things vary in our own our household from week to week, we know they will vary from household to household. However, we wanted to show you our list of typical things that have come up during our Sabbath to help you set guidelines for your own Sabbath.

True Rest or Worship

Always Yes

• Putting away your phone
• Staying off social media
• Taking a nap
• Reading
• Going to church
• Playing piano/guitar
• Going for a walk

Sometimes Yes

• Board games and puzzles
• Watching a movie
• Writing
• Spending time with friends
• Listening to podcasts

Always No

• Cleaning
• Binge watching TV
• Anything that becomes mindless
• Checking your phone
• Social media

If you’ve never tried Sabbath for yourself, what’s stopping you? We know, we know… Life is too busy right now, there isn’t time to stop and not do ANYTHING! And that’s entirely the point – if we aren’t intentional to follow God’s instructions, we will always be too busy. Too busy for true rest, too busy for growth, and too busy for God. This continues to be a learning experience for us, but it is already so fruitful for us! We would love for you to join us, and let us know what works (and doesn’t) for you!

Back in March, Alyssa and I were able to go on our first-ever cruise! Our good friends (and Alyssa’s boss) the Kuiper’s brought us along on a Royal Caribbean trip they earned, as well as bringing our favorite kiddos.

We’ve always wanted to try a cruise, but other trips have always taken priority. Not knowing what to expect fully, we did lots of asking around. The opinions on cruises really vary, but most tended to be either “We LOVE cruises” or “Never again”. This made us a bit nervous, but still excited!

The Ship

The cruise we were on was a Royal Caribbean aboard the Harmony of the Seas, the second largest cruise ship in existence! I mean, if we were going to start somewhere, why not the biggest! The ship was truly incredible, and felt more like a luxury hotel with most of the surrounding city as well. Restaurants, stores, a carousel, Central Park, theaters, pretty much anything you can think of.

There were so many things to do on the ship, and we frankly did a terrible job of taking advantage of them. We didn’t make it to any shows. but we did get to see a tech rehearsal for one show, which was awesome! We took advantage of many of the (included) restaurants and bars, but not so much the activities like mini-golf or the epic slides.

As time passed on the ship, we honestly forgot that we were on a boat. Every once in a while, we would feel the waves and remember. But even Alyssa, who tends to be more sensitive to motion, didn’t have any issues with sea sickness. We didn’t even use the Dramamine or Sea Bands we had with!

The Royal Caribbean Experience

I was beyond impressed with the Royal Caribbean crew. The level of service provided was truly great, and we definitely felt more spoiled than we have before on a vacation. Our stateroom attendant (which sounded WAY too fancy for us) Endy was so incredibly helpful and polite. He was accommodating for us as we had kids in our room some nights, and kept the rooms looking amazing. It was extra relaxing to come home in the evening to a bedroom all ready to sleep in!

The food and drinks were equally impressive, everywhere we went. There were plenty of options included in the trip price, and we could always find something when we were hungry. Definitely loved the buffet options, because everyone was happy! We had a specific dining time in the dining room, but since it was a three-course meal, it took a lot of time, and it didn’t feel like the best use of our time.

The Final Verdict

Everyone told us that you either are cruise people or not cruise people. Basically after your first cruise you’ll either ONLY go on cruises for the rest of your life or you’ll never even consider a cruise. I don’t think we fell into either camp though.

Honestly, what made the cruise amazing was the people we spent our time with. When it comes down to it, I think we would enjoy going on a cruise again, but wouldn’t necessarily seek out a cruise as a first option for a trip. Truly, it’s all about WHO you go with rather than what’s available on the cruise. Overall, we didn’t take advantage of all the cool things we could have done, but it was still super special because we spent it with some of our favorite people!

Have you been on a cruise? What cruise lines do you recommend? Share with us below!

“Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy”

If you grew up in a Christian, church-going household, you’ve probably heard this a million times.

For me, I thought this meant go to church on Sundays and maybe taking a good Sunday afternoon, nap, am I right?

Recently, we’ve started to feel this might not be what God had in mind for the sabbath, and we’ve set out to learn more.

Does God really care if I rest?

• It’s like tithing. There are arguments on both sides, but it’s a matter of trusting God. Sabbath/Shabbat/Rest is like a tithe with your time.
• It’s one of the 10 commandments. If we follow the other nine, why not follow this one?
• God himself took a day of rest after creating the world. If it’s good enough for God, it’s good enough for us

One thing that jumped out at us as we started looking into Sabbath was the comparison to a tithe. When we first started giving a true tithe, we had many discussions around this idea of trusting God. At first, we tended to have a selfish perspective on our tithe. “We are trying to get out of debt so we CAN give. Why would we let 10% of our income go somewhere else?”

We have the same feelings about our time. “We have GOALS. If we’re going to get stuff done, why would we give God an entire day!”. As soon as we heard how similar our attitude was towards true rest, we realized that it was probably something we NEEDED to do.

Tithing our Time

The issue with this perspective isn’t the math, or even our intentions for the money or the time. The issue is that we didn’t want to trust God. OUR plan is the best, so we can ignore what God says and do it our way. When our plan or our own goals become the center of our lives, we leave God at the wayside.

We have started to see the idea of a weekly Sabbath in the same light as we had seen tithing. Is it hard to truly rest for 24 hours, knowing that there are literally hundreds of other things we could be doing? Absolutely! But together, we are working on trusting that God knows better for our lives, relationships, and time than we do.

So, what IS a Sabbath?

When this idea began to take root in our lives, we were less than qualified, to say the least. We have started learning and leaning into people much more experienced to understand what Sabbath is, and why it’s so important.

For starters, we DEFINITELY recommend listening to John Mark Comer’s series on Sabbath, available here. This series from Bridgetown Church really launched our commitment to figuring out what a day of rest looks like for us. John offers lots of great historical and spiritual insights into what Sabbath is and why it is such a lost art. In our world that’s so focused on more, faster, and better, it’s very revolutionary to STOP and focus on God.

Some of our other favorite resources on this topic come from Annie F. Downs, Jeff and Alyssa Bethke, and Jeremy and April Pryor. We will keep working on our own journey with Sabbath/Shabbat because it is important for our relationships with God and each other. Are you craving rest in your life? We’d love to see others step in beside us and commit to a day of true rest every week as well. We hope you will take some time to study and pray on this idea, and see if God puts it on your heart like he has ours!

You can read part two of this series here.

Flashback to summer 2018 – We had just announced that we were going to be on the Dave Ramsey show to celebrate with a debt-free scream! As word got out, we were let in on a little secret – our church was going to be going through a version of Momentum, a program that aimed to take entire churches through a class to create financial mature people who are working to better their finances (and in turn, their family trees and their communities).

When we were in Nashville, we had the amazing opportunity to meet with two of the advisors/coaches that our church was working with. We talked about our experience going through FPU in 2015 and what it was like to be both a facilitator and an advisor.

Not long after, we were offered the volunteer position to direct a session of FPU. After a lot of talking, planning, and prayer, we accepted the position for ALL FOUR sessions at our campus. We wanted to be a part of seeing lives changed!

What did we measure?

The Financial Peace University class is nine weeks long.  On week two, participants turn in an anonymous “financial reality check” that has them look at their non-mortgage debt, readily-available cash, and number of credit card accounts open. These numbers get tallied up and provide a big snapshot of where the class is at. At the end of the nine weeks, they fill out a similar card that asks how much on-mortgage debt they paid off, how much additional cash they saved, and the number of credit cards they cut up.

Let’s talk numbers

The Results

We had about 209 households stick through the nine weeks of Financial Peace University, and their results are astounding! On average, each household cut up 2 credit cards (though totals per household ranged from 0-20). On average, each household saved $2873 between weeks 2 and 9. Most astounding is that on average, each household paid off $5,635 of non-mortgage debt!

These participants are ALL IN. They know that if they can live a life where they don’t have to make payments to someone else. That money can be used in so many other ways that are far more beneficial.

The Momentum Marathon

All in all, it was a little bit of a crazy ride directing this many FPU classes. We easily dedicated 20 hours or more a week for the nine weeks (and for a few weeks before as well).
It isn’t necessarily a sustainable thing for us as a couple, but we don’t regret it. But what has been so fun to see is the way that God has showed up every step of the way.

Last year, we worked hard to have around 20 volunteers helping lead groups. This year, we had over 100 volunteers step up! Every year, God seems to place the right people in each group, with the right leaders. And yet again, we have heard story after story from people that have made important connections with the other people in the class. They continue on to form small groups, stay in touch about FPU, or even build new friendships. And more than anything, God shows up in the progress and change that each of these participants make. We are so humbled to be a part of that work, and can’t wait to share with more people the effect that FPU has had on our lives!

Have you ever been frustrated by poor communication or etiquette? Email etiquette is especially frustrating to me, especially with the number of places and ways that email is used in my (and Alyssa’s) lives. I go through a few hundred emails a day easily, between work, personal, consulting, and other things we help out with. Alyssa’s job also involved a large portion of email use, as well. And across all of these different uses, we have started talking more and more about the poor etiquette that is so prevalent.

I used to think it was just me that was bothered by bad email etiquette. But as it turns out, I’m not alone! We asked what types of things bother people with email, and we were a little surprised by the responses! Here are our responses to the feedback we got over on Instagram!

FYI

Ever received a forwarded email chain, with the text at the top simply stating “FYI”? No explanation, no summary, no nothing. Now, you have to scroll through an entire conversation (usually in reverse) and try to figure out what they want you to know from the emails passed along.

Better etiquette would be to provide a (super brief) summary of the info you are passing along, and why. For example, forwarding a chain of emails with instructions on a new process for bringing on new clients. “FYI, please see the updated onboarding process below and reach out to Jim with any questions or concerns. Thank you!” Now, they know exactly what to expect in the emails, what to pay attention to, and who to contact if they don’t understand anything. This shows the recipient you value their time, and equips them to read and move on quickly!

Proper Greeting and Signature

This is a personal pet peeve of mine – emails with absolutely no greeting or signature. Just a statement, question, or information. Take the extra few seconds to address the person you are contacting with a short greeting, depending on the context.

If you know the person you’re emailing, a simple “Hi Jim,” works great. If emailing a group of people or a helpdesk-type email, a short “Hello,” or “Hi all,” is perfect.

To conclude, be sure to leave off with what you are looking for next, and any info they need. If an issue has been resolved, be sure to thank them genuinely! If you still need help, still be thankful. “Thanks in advance!” or “I appreciate any help you can provide” is just fine. And at a minimum, you should have your name at the end of the email, if not an email address or phone number to reach you as well!

What do you want?!

This happens especially frequently in my job, as we receive support inquiries via email all the time. “I have a question about how your product works.” That’s all it says. What am I supposed to do with that?

Be sure to leave any necessary details to describe what you are looking for. Are you hoping to speak with someone on the phone about a specific issue? Give them enough identifying information or details so that they can prepare to call you and have your account etc pulled up. This will save you time on the phone, and help them assist you even better.

It’s also great etiquette to state plainly what you are looking for. If you are looking for an email response, or for someone to finish a task for you, then say so! When we read emails, it is tougher to imply what the sender might mean. We don’t get the same facial expressions and non-verbal cues. A lot of times, we don’t even know the person on the other end of the message! Be clear and polite about what you need.

It’s not a text message.

While some abbreviations are a part of email as well, an email is not a text to your bestie. Think of it as a letter, sent on a computer instead of in the mail. I would recommend avoiding unnecessary abbreviations or slang, like “plz” or “thx”. These come across in emails as disingenuous, and feel fake to the receiver.

Another key is to use proper capitalization and full sentences. This might sound a bit elementary, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t do this! You will be able to communicate more effectively, and come across as more polite. Be especially careful when sending from a phone, as it can easily be overlooked.

What other tips do you have on email etiquette? What bothers you most about the messages you receive?

The last few years I have been able to compare the costs of working out at home vs the gym because I’ve tried both! One of my goals has been to move my body, because I know it helps me with my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). This winter has helped confirm that moving my body truly helps me with SAD and my anxiety.

I committed to this same thing back two and a half years ago. Cody and I both started the fall with great intentions. We went to a gym, I got a personal trainer, and we managed to drag our butts out of bed a few days a week in the cold MN winter.

The struggles of the gym

The gym, including my personal trainer, was an okay environment for me, but it wasn’t the best financially or the best use of my time. I would be there for an hour and only get half a workout in. I wasted time trying to figure out WHAT to do, and I waited for people to be done with the equipment I needed!

For nine months I stuck it out, but then I was SO OVER IT. It was hard to have the energy to go in the morning or after teaching. So, I started looking for other options.

A different option

At-home workouts came into my life right as my personal training was wrapping up. They are the ONLY reason I’ve been able to stay more consistent this year. I’ve found that I need a balance between Pinterest workouts and a full gym. I love the weightlifting I can do at the gym AND the access to the personal trainers. However, working out at home means I’m on my OWN time, and not in someone else’s sweat!

Now, I don’t think working out at home is for everyone. It’s all about finding what works for you.

Some questions to ask yourself:

1. What types of exercise do you enjoy the most?
2. Are you uncomfortable working out around others or encouraged by the competition?

For me, the at-home workouts I found were a perfect fit because:

1. I am not motivated to leave my house, especially in the cold winter!
2. I need help knowing WHAT to do, but personal trainers are SPENDY.
3. The online workouts I use are led by personal trainers that give cues for form, so I still get the help I need.
4. I don’t need a lot of space or equipment (for example running is the literal worst to me)

What REALLY made the decision for us though was cost. When I saw that I could workout for an entire YEAR at home for less than the cost of ONE MONTH at our gym, it was a no-brainer to try!

We’d love to know where you like to workout! Do you have any experience with a personal trainer? We’d love to hear your thoughts! Send us your questions or comments!

Dear high school Cody,

While it might not seem super exciting, your new job at Wendy’s is actually a great opportunity for so many reasons. The money you make, even though it’s just minimum wage, will be nice for starters. You’ll learn valuable life skills (believe it or not), and learn to work hard and have fun at the same time. You’ll get invaluable practice with Spanish that will serve you well in the future. But there are some things you might not understand yet, and you’ll just have to trust me.

Start saving for college now.

Yes, your parents have been kind enough to save some money up for your education, and that will be a huge help. And yes, you can get scholarships too. But college is expensive – and you’ll pick an EXPENSIVE school. Start saving now so you can stay out of debt and work your way through school with the same excitement you have now! Plus, you’re going to want to travel, and that costs extra! Save now, and pay for it all with cash.

Right now, your expenses are low – gas, entertainment, and that’s about it. Take advantage of this time and use the extra money you’ll earn to save. Especially over the summer – those 40 hour work weeks add up to a good chunk of change! Don’t blow it on Chipotle trips or fancy dinners with your girlfriend. It’s not worth the hassle, just trust me!

Learn to budget.

I know, you’re a math nerd and you like to save money. But the skill of budgeting and living by that budget is so invaluable. Take the time now to get used to budgeting expenses ahead of time, and spending within the limits you decide! It’s a discipline that will serve you so well, especially as you get older and are responsible for all the expenses in your life.

Keep up your work ethic.

You are a hard worker, and you enjoy learning new things. Keep growing and working hard, because it’s going to set you up for bigger and better things in the future. Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the journey as well, of course. The work and saving you do now is just the beginning, and remember that the end will be worth the wait too! Save up and be thoughtful with your time and money, and don’t get too caught up in the little distractions.

Just trust God.

Sometimes, you get a little too focused on what you want for yourself. You aren’t really a planner, but once you have something in your sights, you really work towards it. This is a great skill for sure, but can also make life and faith harder. Take a step back from YOUR plans and listen to God. Spend time talking to him and working on your relationship with him, and use that to guide your life. It will be so much smoother if you just trust His plan now!